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Behind the Name ‘Julie’

The character name “Julie” comes from a woman I met only briefly while running errands in Pacific Palisades back in the summer of 2000. A remarkable older woman - extremely sweet and pleasant – an d somehow, I found out through our brief conversation that she was an actor – and she dreamed for a lead feature role for a senior (where she could unleash her years of experience). I hung onto her card hoping that the story gestating in my heart about an older couple would someday come to fruition. When the film became the slightest possibility - I knew that I would have to meet Julie Parrish again, to see if she would come in for an audition. When I couldn’t reach her, I looked her up on the internet and learned that Julie Parrish had passed away after a heroic battle with cancer. 

Before I met and was quickly captivated by Martie Ashworth, the image of the character of ‘the wife’ while writing the story was my memory of Julie Parrish, so it was only fitting that Martie and I ultimately decided to keep this character named ‘Julie’. Here are some of the deeply heartfelt and meaningful excerpts from a letter that Julie’s loving family posted on her behalf on their memorial website:

Words of Julie Parrish, who passed away on October 1, 2003: 

…It actually didn’t hit me until I was in my late 30’s. I’d just left a truly mentally abusive relationship with a man five years older than me. I was broke. I’d lost contacts and all my property, and it took me quite by surprise. Ageism I mean. I don’t think one can ever be prepared for it no matter what. After the anger that hangs around the edges like a ghost for a while, it comes down to a sad feeling, one more of disappointment than anything. Disappointment, I think, in humanity. A feeling that leaves you feeling devalued and vulnerable. You start not being able to make a decent living anymore. You accept the challenge. You work in a dress shop. You work in a coffee shop. You get religion. You go to college as a freshman. You love it. You get the Chancellor’s distinguished Honor Award for your grade point average. You get your picture taken in your graduation gown. People say congratulations as you turn 50…

…Hollywood became somewhat of an “openly” ugly place, with film studio owners finding the right price for handing over the directorship of our beloved business to corporate America. Ergo some not always “creative-minded” people made choices for us with a clear focus on the bottom line. They became the dictators of what the entertainment audience would and could watch. Sex and violence seemed to bring in the most money. An advertising frenzy directed toward the very young and the upwardly mobile did not seem to care what I thought.” …I sure as hell didn’t see any male character descriptions where they called him “past his prime.” You roll that around in your craw a while and see how it feels! Then arrives that day when you come to the place where your mortality is threatened for the first time, and you realize “cancer” could actually happen to you! The final insult! 

…Through this I keep reminding myself that I am right on time, and knowing that when I think anyone is being a jerk to me, I have to recognize what a nice opportunity it is to practice forgiveness and to practice not taking other people’s “stuff” personally. I know that if I don’t, then I will be stuck in this little “hell” until I do. Between you and me and the fence post, I found this “way harder” to do than it sounds, but a sense of humor helps tremendously…The spiritual teachers and philosophers that I have studied, for the most part, teach that whatever it is that is on your plate is what you are supposed to be dealing with right now, right here. Every meeting is a divine appointment. I think that’s true. At least it has worked that way for me… So I’ve learned to meet life’s challenges head on, and to be as honest with myself, and with others, as I am able to be. The “Golden Rule” seems a good one to follow. What real harm could come from treating other people the way you would like to be treated? If you find that it doesn’t work with someone, then you need to examine why you are there…” 

God bless us all. 

Julie

Julie passed away on October 1, 2003. These respectfully excerpted words of Julie Parrish can be found on her Memorial website at www.julieparrish.com. All words © 2000-2007 Julie Parrish & Family. All Rights Reserved.